Strange...

It is strange that people always change, sometimes they r all the world for u, sometimes they are worthless as some sand u pass by on the road

It is weird that people fear people who can harm them, why dont they protest, why dont they show their anger? Why dont they try to change what's going on? Why do i feel so useless when coming to changing wrong facts, wrong reality, wrong resposbilities...

It wont never be the same without my stable brain...


Thinking of you....

Secrets...

The dilemma of secrets, esp when u know secerts of some friends which must be kept from other friends...what would u do if some friends r talking about each other's backs and u dearly like the two friends...will u keep the secrets of both? will u sell one for the other? will u just get away?

it is so hard really..and make me feels like hell...esp when some fo t hese friends feel like i'm cheating or sth...while i'm not...

usually the two sides r drastically awful to each other...which makes me look kinda silly (why do i need these friends in the 1st place?)...i dunno...maybe it is my natural sense of care which tortures me to an idiot limit...

Realize...

Do you ever realize? is realization one of ur talents?

not all ppl can realize what is going on...including myself...i sometimes cant get it fast enough to make it up for some ppl dear to me, resulting in losing them, partially or totally...

do u realize that being bad is bad, being good is good, being nothing is nothing...u no sometimes things become so easy to the extent that u dont even know its exist...in short, u dont realize it...

ironical isnt it...

My Own Prison: Reason

These are the lyrics of my fav song:

A court is in session. A verdict is in. No appeal on the docket today. Just my own sin.
The walls are cold and pale. The cage made of steel.
Screams fill the room. Alone I drop and kneel.

Silence now the sound. My breath the only motion around.
Demons cluttering around. My face showing no emotion.
Shackled by my sentence. Expecting no return.
Here there is no penance. My skin begins to burn.

So I held my head up high. Hiding hate that burns inside. Which only fuels their selfish pride.
We're all held captive. Out from the sun. A sun that shines on only some.
We the meek are all in one.

I hear a thunder in the distance. See a vision of a cross.
I feel the pain that was given on that sad day of loss.

A lion roars in the darkness. Only he holds the key.
A light to free me from my burden and grant me life eternally.

Should have been dead on a Sunday morning banging my head .
No time for mourning. Ain't got no time

So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride

We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

I cry out to God, seeking only his decision. Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison

My Own Prison

why do I always choose this name as a location for the forums i join? i dont now...it is just a situation i imagine myself in...that the internet has been always my own prison...although negative, it represents my lost sense of commitment, internet has always gave me the sense of commitment...
since my birth, i always travelled, always, with short times of settling...which had 2 results:
1. gave me experience
2. made me not enough stable...

ppl near me say that i'm a genius, sometime i enjoy my selfishness and believe with them too...but i guess i just know how to make use of the things in my hand...but this is not real intelligence...maybe it is just a metter of knowing what and how to do in the right time...this matter always strike me when ppl make use of my under-normal computer skills...

i wanna thank Still Breahting cuz she indirectly made me know this site...she one friend one can never forget...