Thoughts...

Alone...
The purifying feeling of being alone...
My parents never tried to understand my need to be alone from time to time, they just use the easy option of being scared and throw all the same-old-nagging about it is not right...it is bad...just like i'm still a child...

I was never taught the sense of privacy...my parents always invaded my strong desire for privacy...under many excuses...parental watch, love, protecting...yea ok i'm important for you and all...but do you think that this way will make the character you want to see? to be a real man who is able to face this monsterous-kind of life which is getting harder every second...

privacy...

as a matter of logic, this way of raising up made me believe that i have the right to invade the privacy of people i begin to care for...leading to face numberless problems as you can imagine...

privacy...

i suffered, paying the fees of the school of life...this suffering made me need to reanalyse the meaning of privacy, how to preserve it, how to protect it from the invasion from even my own parents...which released really bad effects...

lying...
cheating...
and all evil acts one can imagine...

i began to realize how parents r really responsible for what we r in life...

privacy...

even when i tried to share interests with them after al ong time of isolation...a long time of walled relationship...they kept making fun of my activities...or simply refusing it...

my online activity...
teenstuff magazine...
music interests...

as if they were never teenagers, as if they never lived this time of evolution of certain interests in the human being in this time interval...

i dont know if it a trend in this family...all the relatives in my family think of me as if am still a little child...forgetting the twenty summers and winters that passed through my life time...

privacy...

all my activities r just watched and delieveredby reports to my family...i hate my parents for what...what the hell...why do you know all this about me...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU IDIOTS...

and then these relatives say...hey did u do that? u did that alone? What the heck guys...ur generation is the most coward generation of all, the worst generation of all time...the generation of fear and corruption...indeed you in particuler dont have the right to discuss my capability of doing the things i do, SPECIALLY, when i dont share ANY interests with ANY of you...so why dont you keep your idiot opinions for yourself...


when i was a child...i always spent like 2 or 3 hours before sleeping...screaning all my frustrations in my imagination...trying to create imaginable solutions for them...like getting batman tools, bionic men, Aladdin and his Jinny...every imaginable way of solving in the mind of a little child...of course i stopped this habit...but sometimes I think that i need thishabit again...maybe not before sleeping...but trying to get back this ability of reanalysing things that happen to me...to see it from outside...get a clear vision to get an easy solution...


to be continued...

TeenStuff

Every once in a while i check through the old issues of the magazine, but recently i felt a new feeling...looking at some ... mmm ... many names which i met before...

ice heat
nonosh
maro
still
raafat
y.
simon

and a lot more...and i wondered about that i'm still in contact with some of them...others r lost in the mazes of life...some r seen every now and then...

wow...this magazine gave me a lot...

thanks u TeenStuff...

CIMAL

Cairo International Model Arab League...

what a wonderful experience...i was accepted as a member in the Egyptian Affairs Council. Then i attended the openning session, featuring Ibrahim Eissa...the session was in the American University in Cairo


www.modelarableague.org

Hotel California

EAGLES THE lyrics

The Girl From Yesterday

It wasn't really sad the way they said good-bye
Or maybe it just hurt so bad she couldn't cry
He packed his things, walked out the door and drove away
And she became the girl from yesterday
He took a plane across the sea to some foreign land
She stayed at home and tried so hard to understand
How someone who had been so close could be so far away
And she became the girl from yesterday
She doesn't know what's right
She doesn't know what's wrong
She only knows the pain that comes from waiting so long
And she doesn't count the teardrops
That she's cried while he's away
Because she knows deep in her heart
That he'll be back someday
The light's on in the window; she's waiting by the phone
Talking to a memory that's never coming home
She dreams of his returning and the things that he might say
But she'll always be the girl from yesterday

Special Thanks to the Eagles

Weirdness

Since my settlement in Egypt and a lot of ppl think that i'm dull, many others think that i'm weird...

they say i'm not outgoing at all in the beginning of knowing someone...i dunno if this is good or not...does this keeps awful characters from contacting? does this keep good characters from communicating...i just dont know...

my teachers always said i'm an example for the perfect student...though i dont get that excellent marks, what is the use lol...i will lost contact with them anyway

my character is complex, i always knew that...i react towards many ppl in an extreme way...extremely accepting, or extremely refusing...even if i found some good or bad sides from both sides...

this makes me sometimes befriend ppl who r good from the outside and really bad from the inside...

God be with you Ireland...God be with you my second mom...

My Personal Dna Report

Innocence vs Violence vs Society Cruilty

Fee fi fo, she smells his body, She smells his body,
And it makes her sick to her mind.
He has got so much to answer for
To answer for, to ruin a child's life.
How could you touch something
So innocent and pure, obscure?
How could you get satisfaction,
From the body of a child?
You’re vile, you’re …

It’s true what people say –
God protect the ones,Who help themselves in their own way,

He was sitting in her bedroom, In her bedroom,
And now what should she do?
She’s got so much insecurity,
And his impurity …
it was a gathering gloom …