Dear Rasha tagged me, and I really thank her for that since it has been a long time since I wrote something. Being active more via microblogging tools, basically Jaiku, twitter, and facebook status.
The tag is about what I wish for, when I got the tag I kept thinking for a while then this is what I came to:
1. Finishing my Engineering Academic life, I won't ever study in anything related to Engineering again. (hopefully this is my year)
2. Upgrading my gadgets to a fine level (hi-tech digital camera, laptop, mobile, etc).
3. After upgrading my gadgets, being involved in Citizen Journalism (hopeully after decreasing the mobile internet prices, it will happen as a first step with the beginning of 2009)
4. Being a specialist at my work.
5. Mastering the electric guitar, or even the keyboard.
6. Travelling around the world until I say enough.
7. Treating my temper issues, especially when trying to help someone.
8. Making a huge library, which will be mainly about History, Politics, and of course, Computers. Along with reading all of the contents.
9. Finding Mrs. Right and having the romantic living happily ever-after.
10. Forcing myself to go to a gym or something, this academic life destroyed my body.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Recalling - it was just a dream...
In my teenage I was really enthusiastic about things seen by others as trivial, unimportant, or dull, according to the perception of each person. My everyday people whom I see everyday are unfortunately people of trivial minds, who want only to have fun and screw everything else. Screw reading, screw openmindness, screw good music, screw everything which have value in life...in the other hand people who are concerned, are not that available, once every month, every year, or even more, it is like trying to reach the moon by jumping.
I go home everyday or every night, and have a really deep breathe, and think about my feelings toward life. How did frustrations nearly destroys and is still destroying my will to anything useful in this life, and thinking only day by day without any far-sight. The same frustrations which destroyed the far sight planning. What is the value of having a far sight when its use only to prove to others that they were wrong in their judging and controlling after hell got lose and every great beginning is destroyed.
People who love us, esp our family, always try to help up, in their own way. They always try to give, in their own way. Help is considered help when it is given in time. Food is useless when given to a dead man. Facilities are useless when given after complete frustration. What hurts more is that when these facilities are granted after its right time, you are expected to do what they want, or expect you to be complete satisfied and do what you dreamed for. Not feeling all the hell you felt and all the frustrations you experienced before getting this help. It just adds to your frustrations.
Thinking, thinking, thinking. Thinking circulates my brain. I can't help not thinking about things I experienced, and reanalyzing. Who is wrong and who is right and usually not changing my judgments. I was brought up (unintentionally) to not being attached to any human being, which had double effect. It is easy for me to leave anyone whatever the results were, and it is hard for me to let go of certain people emotionally unless they clearly and directly state their negative side.
I go home everyday or every night, and have a really deep breathe, and think about my feelings toward life. How did frustrations nearly destroys and is still destroying my will to anything useful in this life, and thinking only day by day without any far-sight. The same frustrations which destroyed the far sight planning. What is the value of having a far sight when its use only to prove to others that they were wrong in their judging and controlling after hell got lose and every great beginning is destroyed.
People who love us, esp our family, always try to help up, in their own way. They always try to give, in their own way. Help is considered help when it is given in time. Food is useless when given to a dead man. Facilities are useless when given after complete frustration. What hurts more is that when these facilities are granted after its right time, you are expected to do what they want, or expect you to be complete satisfied and do what you dreamed for. Not feeling all the hell you felt and all the frustrations you experienced before getting this help. It just adds to your frustrations.
Thinking, thinking, thinking. Thinking circulates my brain. I can't help not thinking about things I experienced, and reanalyzing. Who is wrong and who is right and usually not changing my judgments. I was brought up (unintentionally) to not being attached to any human being, which had double effect. It is easy for me to leave anyone whatever the results were, and it is hard for me to let go of certain people emotionally unless they clearly and directly state their negative side.
I usually felt this song for female friends I came close to, esp those who suddenly disappeared for no reasons, some of them who faked their accepting me as a friend also for unknown reason. It was always for only friendship and nothing more, but maybe it is a society fault or something, leading to these kind of personalities. This gives me experience anyway :), even if it was a hard way.
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
And it was just a dream...
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Epitaph lost her blog
We are a group of Egyptian bloggers really bothered by the blockage of the two-year-old blog "Epitaph_87" ( http://www.epitaph-87.blogspot.com/) along her gmail account (epitaph87@gmail.com), since October, 4th , 2008. She has sent you her problem and requests on Google Help Center and Blogger Support, but in vain. We wish that you'd help us retrieve that blog and account and answer the requests of our fellow blogress, sending you from (epitaph_1987@hotmail.com), and hopefully ASAP!
Thank you
Thank you
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
With Laila | Coming soon...
Coming soon to blogs near to you
On the next 19th of October
For more information:
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Just give them the chance...
Life is a group of parameters, variables in an equation. The most important equation explains the relation between different members of the family. Between the parents and their children. Their is a factor which I consider very important. A line...the determiner of right and wrong. Or maybe between what is appropriate and what is not. In many families conflicts happen, between the point of view of the parent and that of the child. Some parents see certain thing as inappropriate without considering that it is not wrong, and vice versa, sometimes opposing the natural insight of the child. It really hurts...
It hurts more when the child see the parent enrolls in what was refused before, or even enthusiastic about it. While, ironically, the child see it in a neutral way. When a child wants something, the timing is important, very important. When the margin of time is over, this desire or natural insight is no longer strong like before, no longer wanted like before. It loses its taste, its meaning, loses it value and fun. It even increases the hurt,especially when the parent is thinking to do that action towards himself and raises the always unspoken question...why?
A child in this moment is confused, experiencing a deteriorated image of freedom and of the outside world. He forms a picture in his mind that who has the power can do anything, no matter what others say or think of. He believes in the phrase: "Who cares", he has the power and nothing really matters if he is still in the controlling side.
Many things can be lost as a side-effect, important things. Any decision done this way by the parent against the right vision of their children at the time of conflict can waste a talent, waste a value, waste something which could have made others' lives better. Parents do not normally realize that anything they do, ANYTHING, is like a butterfly effect. Major things always happen from minor things. Tornados can happen when a butterfly flies in the air, just a little colorful butterfly roaming around the lighted bulb while you are enjoying its beauty. This beauty can form a powerful tornado with all its damage to others' lives.
Just give them the chance to live, to create, to love, no to hesitate. Give them the chance to feel, to understgand, to fly with their minds in their very special atmosphere of imagination, the kind of imagination you lost long ago. Give them the chance to do it their way, they have a great chance to understand their surroundings better than you, you didn't live their childhood, you maybe didn't have their experience as they don't have yours. They can be different, and you will never know if this difference is in the right way or the wrong way, or even if it was appropriate or not.
Just give them the chance...
It hurts more when the child see the parent enrolls in what was refused before, or even enthusiastic about it. While, ironically, the child see it in a neutral way. When a child wants something, the timing is important, very important. When the margin of time is over, this desire or natural insight is no longer strong like before, no longer wanted like before. It loses its taste, its meaning, loses it value and fun. It even increases the hurt,especially when the parent is thinking to do that action towards himself and raises the always unspoken question...why?
A child in this moment is confused, experiencing a deteriorated image of freedom and of the outside world. He forms a picture in his mind that who has the power can do anything, no matter what others say or think of. He believes in the phrase: "Who cares", he has the power and nothing really matters if he is still in the controlling side.
Many things can be lost as a side-effect, important things. Any decision done this way by the parent against the right vision of their children at the time of conflict can waste a talent, waste a value, waste something which could have made others' lives better. Parents do not normally realize that anything they do, ANYTHING, is like a butterfly effect. Major things always happen from minor things. Tornados can happen when a butterfly flies in the air, just a little colorful butterfly roaming around the lighted bulb while you are enjoying its beauty. This beauty can form a powerful tornado with all its damage to others' lives.
Just give them the chance to live, to create, to love, no to hesitate. Give them the chance to feel, to understgand, to fly with their minds in their very special atmosphere of imagination, the kind of imagination you lost long ago. Give them the chance to do it their way, they have a great chance to understand their surroundings better than you, you didn't live their childhood, you maybe didn't have their experience as they don't have yours. They can be different, and you will never know if this difference is in the right way or the wrong way, or even if it was appropriate or not.
Just give them the chance...
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